Isang taon matapos ang paglisan
Hindi mo pa ba nakakalimutan
Bakit ba kailangan pa ng kumusta,
Anu nga bang kailangan pa?
Isang taon matapos masaktan
Ang sagot mo ay naririyan
Bakit ba sagot ay kailangan pa,
Gayong hindi ako nagtatanong na?
Isang taon matapos ang unos
Kung kelan nakalimutan na ng lubos
Bakit ba nagbabalik pa
Anu pa bang kailangan pa?
Isang taon pagkatapos ng lahat
Wala na ngang pakialam dapat
Bakit nagtatanong pa sa kaibigan,
Anu pa nga ba ang dahilan?
Isang taon pagkatapos ng sakit
Wala na nga ba ang pait
Bakit puso’y nakakaramdam pa,
Siguro nga, andito ka pa
Nakaukit pa at hindi na mabubura
Kahit pa nga isang taon na,
Maalala’t-maaalala ka…
____________________________________________________________________
Isang taon matapos ang paghihiwalay ng landas, ito ang naisulat
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I thank God for Fathers....
Palaging sinasabi na Mother knows best, wala naman akong kuwestiyon dun, aware din naman ako dun at naniniwala ako, in fact, naranasan ko naman yan. Hindi matatawaran ang kalinga ng isang ina.
Pero sa panahong wala na ang ina, kagaya ng kaso ko, ngayon ko lang lubusang na-appreciate na sobrang importante ang tatay sa buhay ko.
Hindi kami ganun ka-close at ka-showy sa aming mga nararamdaman ng aking tatay, pero ngayon masasabi ko na sobra kong naramdaman ang pagmamahal, pag-aaruga, pagkalinga, pag-intindi, at paggabay niya. Sa mga panahong kailangan ng masusing pagsusuri, pagninilay, at paninimbang ng desisyon, nariyan siya. At hindi ko matatawaran iyon.
Ngayon, nandito ako sa sitwasyong kailangan kong magdesisyon muli, isang importanteng desisyon na lubhang makaka-apekto sa buhay ko... kinailangan ko siya...at hindi niya ako binigo.
Talaga nga namang ang wisdom ng ama ay ganun na lamang. Ngayon, alam kong anuman ang desisyon na gawin ko, anumang option ang piliin ko, alam kong makakabuti ito, alam kong ito ang tama, kung hindi man, ay yung pinakamalapit sa tama.
Tay, salamat sa suporta.
Sadyang masasabi ko na "I thank God for fathers.... I am now enlightened".
Pero sa panahong wala na ang ina, kagaya ng kaso ko, ngayon ko lang lubusang na-appreciate na sobrang importante ang tatay sa buhay ko.
Hindi kami ganun ka-close at ka-showy sa aming mga nararamdaman ng aking tatay, pero ngayon masasabi ko na sobra kong naramdaman ang pagmamahal, pag-aaruga, pagkalinga, pag-intindi, at paggabay niya. Sa mga panahong kailangan ng masusing pagsusuri, pagninilay, at paninimbang ng desisyon, nariyan siya. At hindi ko matatawaran iyon.
Ngayon, nandito ako sa sitwasyong kailangan kong magdesisyon muli, isang importanteng desisyon na lubhang makaka-apekto sa buhay ko... kinailangan ko siya...at hindi niya ako binigo.
Talaga nga namang ang wisdom ng ama ay ganun na lamang. Ngayon, alam kong anuman ang desisyon na gawin ko, anumang option ang piliin ko, alam kong makakabuti ito, alam kong ito ang tama, kung hindi man, ay yung pinakamalapit sa tama.
Tay, salamat sa suporta.
Sadyang masasabi ko na "I thank God for fathers.... I am now enlightened".
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
"Missing Echo"
Because I am about to transfer to another office (well, physically) right after the holy week, I though of cleaning my inbox, and my PC files. While I was browsing the files I saved some four years ago, I happened to open a file containing an exchange of conversation over yahoo messenger with a friend named Echo. Here it is:
Echo: I miss you!
Me : Wow.... i thought you'd never say that....I also miss your many jokes, your stories...just you....
Echo: hoo....really now?! It's because we both are too busy. Good thing you don't miss the "problematic" Eco. :)
Me : Hmm. i do miss that one too. Problems are part of his stories anyway.
Echo: Seriously, I miss you. I miss your importance to me. I miss how I value you. I miss the way i defend you, i miss seeing in you what he can't see in you.
Me: Don't you see it anymore?
Echo: Of course, I still do.
Me: Aren't you happy that your "puppet friend" here is doing ok?
Echo: I just miss the role....my role
Echo: I having the feeling of owning you........
Echo: Of course I'm happy for you. I always wish for your happiness.I hope you don't fight anymore. He's too lucky to have you.
Me: But i told you...i can't be owned.... i can only be gained...
Echo: ok ok, here you go again. I give up... I lose. (smiles)
Me: thanks so much... i miss having you too... promise...
Me: having you...as my "sumbungan, friend" is that ok?
Echo: It's hard to get close to you......guys coulld easily fall inlove with you. But am ok with what we are now. Anything goes, I am thankful to have you. You are there for me anytime. I know you and you know me...in more ways than we know. And I am thankful with the role that I play in your life.
Me: thank you for understanding me. thank you for being there for me.
Echo: Please always take care.
It gives me a nice feeling that somehow, one of the many people who helped me moved on from a dark past brought about by previous relationship, was friends like Echo. He never left me although physically we are unable to get together even if we wanted to. Right now, Eco is living a happy life with his wife and kids. We still talk sometime, not as oftern as before, but I will always know that he is there for me...just like I am for him. I will always be thankful to you Echo, you are always missed. See you soon!
Echo: I miss you!
Me : Wow.... i thought you'd never say that....I also miss your many jokes, your stories...just you....
Echo: hoo....really now?! It's because we both are too busy. Good thing you don't miss the "problematic" Eco. :)
Me : Hmm. i do miss that one too. Problems are part of his stories anyway.
Echo: Seriously, I miss you. I miss your importance to me. I miss how I value you. I miss the way i defend you, i miss seeing in you what he can't see in you.
Me: Don't you see it anymore?
Echo: Of course, I still do.
Me: Aren't you happy that your "puppet friend" here is doing ok?
Echo: I just miss the role....my role
Echo: I having the feeling of owning you........
Echo: Of course I'm happy for you. I always wish for your happiness.I hope you don't fight anymore. He's too lucky to have you.
Me: But i told you...i can't be owned.... i can only be gained...
Echo: ok ok, here you go again. I give up... I lose. (smiles)
Me: thanks so much... i miss having you too... promise...
Me: having you...as my "sumbungan, friend" is that ok?
Echo: It's hard to get close to you......guys coulld easily fall inlove with you. But am ok with what we are now. Anything goes, I am thankful to have you. You are there for me anytime. I know you and you know me...in more ways than we know. And I am thankful with the role that I play in your life.
Me: thank you for understanding me. thank you for being there for me.
Echo: Please always take care.
It gives me a nice feeling that somehow, one of the many people who helped me moved on from a dark past brought about by previous relationship, was friends like Echo. He never left me although physically we are unable to get together even if we wanted to. Right now, Eco is living a happy life with his wife and kids. We still talk sometime, not as oftern as before, but I will always know that he is there for me...just like I am for him. I will always be thankful to you Echo, you are always missed. See you soon!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
wala ka
lumuluha pa rin ang mga mata
sa tuwing kita'y maaalala
kahit na sinabing tanggap na
sadyang kay hirap nang wala ka
walang masabihan ng lungkot at saya
walang matakbuhan kapag may problema
kahit na nga sinabing tanggap na
mahirap mabuhay nang wala ka
sa bawat gabi, ako'y nalulungkot
sa buhay ko'y may bahid pa ng takot
paano ba ang mag-isa?
sadyang kay hirap ng wala ka
hindi ko malaman kung pa'no mag-umpisa
saan ako matatapos, sa'n ako pupunta?
ikaw na gabay ko sa tuwi-tuwina
sadyang kay hirap ng buhay pag wala ka.
_______________________________________
mahapdi at maluha-luhang mga mata bunga ng puyat at pag-iyak, naisulat ito habang nasa isang pagpupulong... hindi ko rin naman maaninag ang mga nakasulat sa "visual aids", at hindi ko rin naman maintindihan ang mga inire-report :)
sa tuwing kita'y maaalala
kahit na sinabing tanggap na
sadyang kay hirap nang wala ka
walang masabihan ng lungkot at saya
walang matakbuhan kapag may problema
kahit na nga sinabing tanggap na
mahirap mabuhay nang wala ka
sa bawat gabi, ako'y nalulungkot
sa buhay ko'y may bahid pa ng takot
paano ba ang mag-isa?
sadyang kay hirap ng wala ka
hindi ko malaman kung pa'no mag-umpisa
saan ako matatapos, sa'n ako pupunta?
ikaw na gabay ko sa tuwi-tuwina
sadyang kay hirap ng buhay pag wala ka.
_______________________________________
mahapdi at maluha-luhang mga mata bunga ng puyat at pag-iyak, naisulat ito habang nasa isang pagpupulong... hindi ko rin naman maaninag ang mga nakasulat sa "visual aids", at hindi ko rin naman maintindihan ang mga inire-report :)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Para Sa Iyo
masaya akong aakyat sa entabladong ito
kakaibang damdamin, medyo may halong lungkot din,
sabay na rin ang yabang at pagpapakumbaba ko
....ang lahat ng ito'y para sa iyo.
nakasasabik ang araw na ito
talaga namang tagal nang 'pinaghintay ko
marami akong dinaanang pagsubok
at alam kong marami pang darating
ngunit payo mo saki'y wag maging marupok
sa pagtitiyaga, tagumpay ay mararating
sa araw na ito, magtatapos ako
sa buhay ay haharapin isang panibagong yugto
wala ka man para saksihan ito ngayon
...para sa iyo ang lahat ng iyon.
_______________________________________________
My mom never failed to attend all my graduation day since grade school. I offer this to her, I deeply miss her :(
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