Saturday, September 17, 2011

mag-isa!

...wag mong iwan ang isang taong nagsasanay palang mag-isa, dahil pag nasanay na siya at kaya niya na, dun mo malalaman na hindi mo na pala siya kayang iwan dahil natatakot ka na ring mag-isa :(

Thursday, September 15, 2011

..diyan ka lang

Hindi na ganun ka-grabe ang kaba na naramdaman ko nung muli kitang makita, siguro nga nawawala na ang matindi kong paghanga sa iyo.  Mas naging "confident" na kasi ako sa pagharap, pagngiti, at pagbati sa iyo, pati naman ako nagtataka sa reaksyon ko, pero sabagay mas okey na talaga ito.

Ganunpaman, hndi pa rin nagbabago na sa tuwinang mangyayari ito, sumasaya ako. Nabubuo ang araw ko, nalilimot ko sandali ang mga pinoproblema ko.  Siguro iyan talaga ang "role" mo sa buhay ko -- ang pagaanin dahil medyo mahirap ito ngayon.

Hindi ka man talaga magiging akin, isa lang ang aking ipinapanalangin, yun ay ang hindi ka mawala, yun ay ang pag-asa na sana hindi ka umalis... Kaya, Lando, wag kang aalis, diyan ka lang!


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Dream Big

I got this little  poster from papemelroti a few years back marked as "Today's Advice", I was so hooked on it that I kept buying as soon as there is a newer and more colorful version.  This year, mine is an updated one, with new fonts, new styles, and of course in my favorite color - purple. Although it practically has the same contents, I am still excited to hang this new poster just beside my study table.  I thought that maybe one advice a day could help me get inspired, and not to quit no matter how hard these things that I am doing gets.

It has been two weeks now and for the almost 10 times I've been pointing my fingers (with both eyes covered of course) to those little squares containing inspiring messages, I kept on pointing at one particular advice which says "DREAM BIG"!

I don't know what it means really or if ever I have an idea, I don't know how I will be able to translate that to the things that I do now.

Ever since I was a kid, I am not much of a dreamer. I was aware that I am just an average girl, not so popular, not pretty, not so wise and smart, not a genius, but I know that I can live by.

I knew that I will stand on my own soon enough, I will live a normal and happy life when I get older, in fact, I never dreamt of becoming rich or famous someday. Not even becoming a doctor, a business tycoon, an engineer, what more of a lawyer?

I just remembered once I thought of becoming a Chemical Engineer or a Scientist for that matter, but that dream fell apart when I was barely getting a passing grade in my Chemistry subject in third year high school.  Since then, I didn't want to dream at all. I kept on saying I was not futuristic and if ever someone asks me what do I want to become, I don't have a ready answer.  I could always sing the "que sera sera song"  whatever will be will be.  For so many years that was my life  --- even my career theme song when I started working.

I tried going to Accountancy in College (even though Math sounds alien to me). I don't know, maybe I just thought that after that, I will be able to work in a bank or a business, and in fact, CPA sounds so noble to me. Certified Public Accountant, wow!

But I was terribly devastated when I was excelling in almost all my subjects except the Fundamentals of Accountancy where I got a failing mark.  It once again felt that the world fell down on me.  Is this another dream I am bound to not fulfill?
I had to transfer to another university and take another degree which I didn't like but had no choice but take.  I don't know where I was going and I don't know if I am gonna get there either so I just let everything happened.

Fate has a way of saying that not everything that we don't like is really bad for us.  Who says that you can't excel in something that you can't take or you don't like?  I was lucky to get that "cum laude" distinction when I graduated.

...and now, it's time that I think of the future, of what will happen, and of what I really like.  Life had been full of challenges, but I know that everything happens for a reason.  We might not understand it now, but it's meant to teach us a lesson...soon, when we are much ready to open our eyes wider to see those reasons.

I am now reviewing for the bar, and although it is literally giving me headaches to try to understand the idiosyncracies of the law, I will not stop.  Just like what a friend told me, "Do not stop when you are tired, stop when you are done"! 

To try to recall, understand, and apply in a few months time what I have studied for almost 7 years is no joke. It meant sleepless nights, terrible headache, and so much difficulties I had to bear. But I will not stop now just because I am tired, I will stop when I am done.  It's time to DREAM BIG now! And I am dreaming and praying to God for Him to give me that 4-letter and a period that I could write before my name :)

Dream big!