Sunday, January 6, 2013

The J Stories: Thank You For The Broken Heart

I never realized that one day I will be saying this to you, Jay.  Thank you for the broken heart.  I never want to sound sarcastic for there are no more bitterness in my heart now.  I have forgiven you and I am letting you know.  But yes, I want to thank you for breaking my heart so bad, crushing it to the ground, tearing it into pieces, for I have something to pick-up, to heal, to fix.  What we had was something special.  It could never be replaced.  I tried to, for so many times, but each time I tried to, I only get hurt in the process for it was just something that cannot be changed, not anymore, not ever.  It has left a permanent scar in my heart, in my being, in all that I am today.

I must say that everything I know about being in love, getting hurt, and moving on came from you.  If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if I have ever experienced the joy of being loved and giving it back.  But there are just stories that have no happy ending, and ours was one of those stories.  There are lives that are not meant to be spent together -- that was our life.  Maybe, what we had was an experience, pure bliss, and yes I keep saying this, something very special.

I have moved on, slower than you actually did, but I did move on, and I am proud to say that I was able to.  The times that I wanted to end my life just because you left me are moments that made me stronger.  I’d be happy to tell you that I can now smile while thinking about the things we did before and everything that we had.  I can share stories of the places we went to without hating you or cursing you now.  I’ve finally moved on, and although it was damn six years, I still did.  I am happy now. So, thank you for the broken heart.