I haven't felt more pressured in my life until now.
When I open my social networking pages, I would see people (batchmate, officemates, childhood friends) with their kids, or their special someone in their profile pictures.
Also, I would receive countless wedding, baptismal, and birthday invitations from different sets of friends, and I would wonder? When will I have them? When will I get to experience the joy of being with someone, of walking down the aisle, or having a child of my own?
Sometimes, it just makes me feel sad and I admit, it's kinda depressing also. I kept asking, what's wrong. Is it me? Is it the way I speak, the way I look? What could possibly be the reason why I am still alone? I kept searching, and in searching, I found an old friend. She is happily married and with two kids. Just like me, she also experienced the kind of waiting, the kind of feeling I have now.
She sent me this note which to me, looked like a note from God. I just felt that it was written for me:
Dear Purple,
Everyone longs to give himself / herself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another - to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But I say to you: "Not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone -- with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me: with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found - will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me - exclusive of anyone of anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing - one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the
greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that
I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. You just have to wait, that's all!
keep looking at Me, or you will miss what I want to show you.
- God
and then I realized....
waiting is not so hard to do after all. There are so many things that I can do while waiting like seeking God, enjoying life as it is now, and just be happy, even if I AM SINGLE!